'How To Impress Your New Boss' the Mark Bosnich Way

I've titled this thread in honour of the mighty Mark Bosnich, who, just before being unveiled as a Manchester United player, punched a photographer and spent the night in the cells. Sir Alex Ferguson - needless to say - was far from impressed.

It's good to know that the patented Bosnich approach to impressing your new boss still has adherents in the modern Premiership.

I present for your delectation and delight : Zat Knight. Knight has just moved from Fulham to Aston Villa on a four year deal.

So how does this paragon of footballing goodness celebrate his move?

Well, by getting arrested on suspicion of 'Class A' drugs offences in the early hours of the morning he was going to be unveiled as an Aston Villa player.

We are sure that Martin O'Neill is extremely impressed by his new signing and is certain to put him straight into the first team.

Top that one, Bosnich.

Weren't They All Chasing The Wrong Striker

So, Aston Villa have picked up striker and renowned intellectual Marlon Harewood for 4 million English pounds. Good for them.

Wigan, Portsmouth, Birmingham City, even Manchester City (pre-Sven) had all been linked with a player whose goalscoring record last season was woeful. All of these clubs wanted Harewood because of his performance the season before.

But haven't they all forgotten something? Or, rather, someone. The West Ham striker they all should have been trying to buy is Bobby Zamora.

Zamora was West Ham's top scorer last season (Carlos Who?), scoring 11 Premiership goals. He got 10 the season before - not that many fewer than Harewood, who started far more games.

He's a cut above Harewood as a player and would have been available for around the same price.

Money Isn't Everything...Even in The Premiership

You may well have several hundred million pounds to spend on a bright, shiny, new Premiership football club like Randy Lerner at Aston Villa. Or Eggert Magnusson at West Ham. Or even Thaksin Shinawatra at Manchester City.

The thing is, though: Manchester City, West Ham, Aston Villa. In the global football world, these are not exactly names to conjure with. Your average top class European footballer doesn't see any of these clubs as the way forward in their careers.

You can have all the money you want (as West Ham found out when they tried and failed to buy Darren Bent from Charlton), but it isn't going to do you any good if noone wants to come and play for your club.

Premiership football teams that are not challenging for Europe are just not an attractive proposition for the real talent in the footballing world. The Aston Villas and West Hams will end up with overpriced British players who aren't truly proven at Premiership level (Ie: Ashley Young). Alternatively, these clubs will get fading European stars attracted by offers of massive wages (as in the rumour of a move by Man City for Christian Vieri).

Money isn't everything...even in the Premiership.